September 26, 2021

8 thoughts on “To Know Me Could Be Fatal

  1. Hi UJ,
    My deepest sympathy for the loss of your great friend. I know the pain your going through as I lost both my parents in 2011 within 50 days of each other. Last friday I lost a good friend I work with, todays his service. And a few years back, I lost a good childhood friend down in Killeen. It took me months to get over the grief of losing a loved one, but also made me look at life a little different. Now the only thing really important to me is each day i spend with my loved ones and friends. Even the asawa could see the change in me, in that the little things i use to worry about are no longer important to me except time with family and friends. So i cherish those moments together as I never know when will they or I will be gone from this world.

    1. I suppose that when things like this happen, everyone re-evaluates their life. I never was one to worry about things that I can not control, but that “What if” factor always kicks my ass. I told Lita that if I die I don’t want people to be sad. I want them to have a party and drink a lot of beer and/or tequila with plenty of food. I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon, but as you say, you just never know.

  2. UJ what can I say? Two such losses in a short time are enough to make anyone reflect on life’s ‘What ifs?’. Sounds like you were good friends and you’ll have some great memories to help you through these tough times. Maybe if you reach out to his kids and let them know what a great guy their Dad was it will help everybody heal a little easier. Kids seldom get to zee the side of their parents you saw. They could probably use the support too, even if it’s only a few kind words. Here to talk if you need it.

    1. Yeah it hasn’t been so wonderful around here recently because of those losses. His kids do know that he was a wonderful person. He helped them even more than he helped others and he did a lot of helping. I’m sure that I will be okay eventually. They say time heals all, but some things just take more time. This one will take awhile for me to forget, but I know I must and carry on with my life. I know he would have wanted for me to do that.

  3. Very touching piece. It might comfort you to know that even if you thought he was the giver, you gave him more than you thought you did. You made him want to go out of his shell and care about another human being. That is a testament to yourself as a person and as a friend. Some people touch our lives and leave footprints in our hearts. Treasure the memories.

    1. I suppose that my feelings were that he gave me so much more than I gave him. Helping him come out of the shell he was in was something easy to do. I just hung around a lot and acted like myself. His problem was not that he didn’t care about others though. In fact he liked to help others, but at first wouldn’t or couldn’t interact with them very well. It definitely was not an overnight transformation, but by the time Lita and I left Okinawa in October 1985, he was a very interacting, helpful, joking machine. Damn I’m going to miss him.
      Emma thanks for checking out my blog. I really enjoy reading your stories http://emmblu.wordpress.com/ on your blog. You have, IMO, a very unique way with words. I can’t say that all my stories are going to be touching, or even good, but I try to express what I’m feeling at the time that I write each of them. Right now I have tears in my eyes and a smile on my face thinking about my best buddy ever and treasuring those memories.

  4. Sorry to hear about the loss of your BF. You shouldn’t blame yourself because life cycles around each of us. I lost my BF, my brother, mother and father all within a span of 7 years, and it seemed much more dramatic than that. Unfortunately we have no control over the cards we are dealt in life and you know for certain it’s not possible for everyone in the game to get the best hand. Hang in there UJ.

    1. Randy I don’t really blame myself but it just got me to thinking about “IF” I would have done things different. You know, the “What if” thing. You see when we were stationed in Okinawa together, we did a lot of exercising because we were both on the weight control program. We were the kind of people that couldn’t stick with it alone, but worked well together. Well somehow we let that exercise program lapse. I don’t remember the reason, but IF I would have stuck to it and done whatever to make him hang in there, MAYBE he would not have developed diabetes to start with. As it turns out, he did. Me I didn’t develop diabetes but being overweight cut my military career a little short. Sure I got lucky and still got to retire, but it was under the early retirement program. He ended up quitting the Air Force after over 18 years of service, rather than put up with the weight management consequences of demotion. Sure the job he got afterwards was like Major General (O-7) pay (versus his TSgt (E-6)) pay, but the job market was not kind to him for long. That exercise habit was never established and he evidently never found another exercise partner. So “What if”? Who knows. It’s just a part of my grieving thought process.

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